Giving and Re-gifting
Re-gifting is a word usually said with a sneer or a smirk, as if the one who did it had committed a faux pas. I’d like to know why. Why should I not give something that I already own if it is an appropriate item? In what way is the gift enhanced if I have a receipt that shows I paid cash for it, or, more likely, charged it to a credit card?
I guess the idea is that pre-owned equals used and used items are considered to be tacky gifts. Of course, there are many grades of used. A coffee maker that shows the wear and tear of daily use is probably not a good gift. But a coffee maker used once and retired from active service would be a useful gift for anyone who drinks coffee. A coffee maker received as a gift and never taken out of the box ought to be a fine gift, given without any embarrassment and received with no thought of whether it looks like the same one the giver unwrapped on her last birthday.
If I buy a holograph letter signed by Abraham Lincoln and give it as a gift, it is considered a wonderful present. But if I find a letter in an old trunk in my attic, unless it can be authenticated and its monetary value established, it doesn’t matter who signed it or how interesting it is, it’s merely old paper and is unacceptable as a gift.
An antique is an acceptable gift, as long as it is bought at an antique store especially for the giftee or is an heirloom of the giftee’s family. If I decide that the pressed glass square honeycomb dish I bought nine years ago at the local Antique Alley would be nice to give my niece as a housewarming present, that’s tacky and I’d better hope she never finds out that I took it out of my breakfront to wrap for her. But if I buy a pressed glass vase at Target and it’s nicely packaged in a box to show that it’s brand new, my niece may think I’m a cheapskate but the gift will be perfectly acceptable.
The inconvenience of procuring the gift also plays into its acceptability. If I stop alongside the road and buy a dozen roses from a vendor’s ice chest on my way to visit a friend in the hospital, it’s okay but kind of tacky. However, if I phone a florist and have flowers delivered, that’s a great gift, whether I visit or not. Even better is if I go to the florist shop, have a bouquet especially arranged, and take it to the hospital to my friend. Just look at all the time and effort I put into it, not to mention the monetary cost. I’m a really good friend.
In my opinion, it is absolutely silly to waste time and effort on the issue of re-gifting. Even if I inadvertently give you something you once gave me, what’s the big deal? Most of us receive so many gifts that we can’t possibly remember who gave them all or on what occasion. If it was nice enough for you to give me, then it’s nice enough for me to give you. If you don’t want it or have no use for it, give it to someone else, sell it at a yard sale, or donate it to a charity.
The tackiness of re-gifting is an idea being promoted by retailers and who can blame them? But we needn’t play into it.
I guess the idea is that pre-owned equals used and used items are considered to be tacky gifts. Of course, there are many grades of used. A coffee maker that shows the wear and tear of daily use is probably not a good gift. But a coffee maker used once and retired from active service would be a useful gift for anyone who drinks coffee. A coffee maker received as a gift and never taken out of the box ought to be a fine gift, given without any embarrassment and received with no thought of whether it looks like the same one the giver unwrapped on her last birthday.
If I buy a holograph letter signed by Abraham Lincoln and give it as a gift, it is considered a wonderful present. But if I find a letter in an old trunk in my attic, unless it can be authenticated and its monetary value established, it doesn’t matter who signed it or how interesting it is, it’s merely old paper and is unacceptable as a gift.
An antique is an acceptable gift, as long as it is bought at an antique store especially for the giftee or is an heirloom of the giftee’s family. If I decide that the pressed glass square honeycomb dish I bought nine years ago at the local Antique Alley would be nice to give my niece as a housewarming present, that’s tacky and I’d better hope she never finds out that I took it out of my breakfront to wrap for her. But if I buy a pressed glass vase at Target and it’s nicely packaged in a box to show that it’s brand new, my niece may think I’m a cheapskate but the gift will be perfectly acceptable.
The inconvenience of procuring the gift also plays into its acceptability. If I stop alongside the road and buy a dozen roses from a vendor’s ice chest on my way to visit a friend in the hospital, it’s okay but kind of tacky. However, if I phone a florist and have flowers delivered, that’s a great gift, whether I visit or not. Even better is if I go to the florist shop, have a bouquet especially arranged, and take it to the hospital to my friend. Just look at all the time and effort I put into it, not to mention the monetary cost. I’m a really good friend.
In my opinion, it is absolutely silly to waste time and effort on the issue of re-gifting. Even if I inadvertently give you something you once gave me, what’s the big deal? Most of us receive so many gifts that we can’t possibly remember who gave them all or on what occasion. If it was nice enough for you to give me, then it’s nice enough for me to give you. If you don’t want it or have no use for it, give it to someone else, sell it at a yard sale, or donate it to a charity.
The tackiness of re-gifting is an idea being promoted by retailers and who can blame them? But we needn’t play into it.
posted by Barbara J. Olexer @ 4:14 AM
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